Sunday, February 17, 2019

A Hard Week

I wasn't going to post about this, but a thread keeps going through my mind when I try to go to sleep.  I keep thinking what I would write on my blog to honor Marcella.

I could give a tribute.  Tell everyone what she did that gave me such a close bond to her.  But that is REALLY personal. A time in my life that I choose not to share my thoughts about with ANYONE.

My Sister-in-law Marcella lost her battle a little over a week ago. She lost her husband several years ago.  He had a heart attack while snow blowing.  She was lonely after he died.  Shortly after he passed, her daughter  Sara was diagnosed with breast cancer. Sara went through treatment twice and after about two years she was cancer free.  During that time Marcella had pain in her breast.  She ignored it, still in depression of being a widow.  Then she felt a lump under her arm and decided to see a doctor.  Her fears were confirmed, but she did not want to undergo treatment.  She had seen what her daughter went through and just did not care about her own disease.  She was lonely. She told her sister about the positive test.  The news spread in the family.  Brothers, sisters, children and grandchildren urged her to have surgery and treatment. By the time the surgery was scheduled and treatment began, the cancer had spread.  More lumps and tumors that eventually moved to her lungs, liver and brain.  The treatment took a tremendous toll on her body.  I cannot tell you how difficult her side effects were. So much so that when she passed her grandson spoke the words we were all thinking...we should have let her go so she would not have gone through this ordeal for naught.  She underwent treatment for a couple of years until the doctors told her they could not contain the cancerous cells any longer. She passed just a couple of weeks after treatment stopped.

Her funeral was a week after she passed so that her grandchildren could gather from other places in the country.  That was good because it gave everyone time to get used to the idea of not being able to speak with her everyday.  That said, the one day viewing took a tremendous toll on those close to her.  Marcella was truly a person that no one would ever have a bad word or thought for. I still think of her the last time I saw her sitting at her kitchen table joking with Terry and telling him "you're crazy" after he said something that made her laugh.  He did that and she said that a lot.

24 comments:

Roberta Warshaw said...

I am really so very sorry Carol for your loss....

barbara woods bewtjw@gmail.com said...

My aunt is 85 she has cancer in lots of places but her Dr.'s are giving her treatment and she works at walmart. Now her oldest son has cancer and it's bothering her more than her's does

Kit said...

Oh my friend! I an so sorry to hear of your loss. How heavy your heart must be feeling. It is so very hard when the world looses such wonderful people. Sending big hugs. Kit

Salty Pumpkin Studio said...

Prayers and sympathy for your loss

maureenlthompson said...

Sorry to hear this, hope you are OK, it is a difficult time for you losing someone you cared so much for. Hugs. XXXXX

Magpie's Mumblings said...

It's hard to lose a loved one as I can attest after having been through it this past week as well. I'm so sorry Carol - my condolences to you and your family.

Jennifer Gail said...

Hugs!

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

So sorry for this huge loss in your life.

Love, hugs & prayers for you ~ FlowerLady

Pamela said...

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a difficult week. Cancer and depression are a terrible duo. How fortunate that you have good memories during your time of sadness.

tiff said...

So sorry for your loss!

Henny Penny said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister-in-law. Sounds like she was a very sweet person, and a good friend.

Rose said...

I have wondered how you were surviving this. I did not know whether to email or give you space. I am truly sorry for your loss. One thing positive--it sounds like you have a lot of pleasant and fun memories to lean on.

Janine @ Rainbow Hare said...

I'm sorry to hear this sad news, Carol. I think it's unnecessary and unwise to post very personal things on the internet and this post is a beautiful tribute to your SIL showing the world how special and how much loved she was and how very much she will be missed. Sending hugs and keeping you and Terry in my thoughts, Janine xxx

Debra said...

I'm so sorry. She sounds like a wonderful person.

Timaree said...

I am sooo sad for you and Terry. Sometimes we have to let death do it’s bit and it seems worse when we get in the way but in the end, she did choose - maybe for her love of all of her family - to go through the treatment. It did give everyone time to love her more and say goodbye and for her to decide outside her pain of losing daughter and husband, whether to keep fighting or not. She is certainly at peace now and I hope you find yours soon too. She sounds like a very special, there for everyone type of person and she lived that right up to the end. Those people leave a big hole in our hearts when they leave (my dad was like this) and all I can say is time does heal even though it’s really slow and my advice is to cry and cry and relive her wonderful ness because while it hurts, it also helps. Hugs, hugs, and hugs!

Jocelyn is Canadian Needle Nana said...

This post gave me goosebumps. So stirring and so much to think about as facing down this enemy is a common thing, one we are all touched by. So thank you for sharing and I hope it helped a little to write about it. Thinking about you today.

Momma Bear said...

So sorry for your loss, Carol. It is so hard to lose someone close, even harder to lose someone who listens and understands. Best to remember her at your kitchen Table, laughing, what a wonderful memory to keep.

I lost 3 wonderful friends from my CQ wednesday group in the last 3 years and the other 2 ladies moved away. So the group is done and I miss them all dearly. so I joined the local quilt guild. and them the community sew committee. new things, new people, it all keeps me busy and in the world,which is a good thing for all of us.

Sherrie Spangler said...

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I hope that the pain will be eased over time. I do know that sharing your story can help lessen the heavy burden of grief.

jenclair said...

Marcella sounds like the kind of person who will be desperately missed. I'm so sorry to hear that she lost her battle with cancer. A wonderful tribute, Carol.

Linda in Calif. said...

I am so sorry to hear about Marcella. It's so very hard when our loves pass. I'm glad you decided to write about her - and allow us to know. I'll be keeping you and your family in prayer.

Cathy said...

There are no words, but know that you’re in my thoughts and I wish there were some way to ease your family’s pain. Marcella sounds like she was a wonderful person, and I know you will keep her memory alive with good thoughts and stories. Hugs to you, Dear Carol!!

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FlashinScissors said...

I’m so sorry for your loss, Carol.
Thinking of you and your family.
Hugs,
Barbara xx

Jan said...

Carol I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. Marcella sounds like a special person, I'm sorry she had to go through so much emotional and physical pain, it just isn't fair. She will remain in all your hearts as long as you live, and I know you will cherish each good memory you have of her. Such a loving and heart felt post.