Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Denial Is A Dirty Word


If you have followed my blog for a while, you might remember that Terry's niece beat her battle with Cancer.  She went through hell.  I never shared the depth of her story of a doctor that prescribed an incorrect treatment that almost killed her and was destroying her heart.  Luckily she consulted another doctor and she is now cancer free.

So after all that, you would think that when her mother Marcella (Terry's sister) discovered last October a lump under her arm she would have rushed to the doctor to have it checked out.  No.  I guess that is where denial comes in.

Marcella has been through a lot in the last three  years.  Her husband suffered a heart attack and died while shoveling snow three winters ago.  Last year her daughter went through cancer treatment. Last year Terry's father discovered three cancer's and has had treatment.  Even though he was given three months to live he has been fighting and surviving.

The lump under Marcella's arm continued to grow and she finally broke down and saw a doctor.  I'll skip forward in the story to what is currently going on. When they diagnosed the cancer about 5 weeks ago, it was determined to be Stage II.  From then to today it is Stage IV.  Her cancer is fast growing and aggressive. Two lumps in her breast that spread to her lymph nodes.  Now they found the breast cancer has spread to her lungs.  They say it is not lung cancer, but that her cancer is the kind that travels and hides and waits to grow.  The cancer on her lung cannot be killed.  It can only be stopped from growing.  She will have to continually have CT scans to be sure it does not travels to her kidneys, liver or stomach or anywhere else.  She is having chemo to stop it from growing and will then have surgery.

I can't tell you how much I love Marcella.  She became so special to me when she helped me through the worst time of my life when most of Terry's family abandoned or ignored me.

Please don't be in denial.  Don't even get to that point.  BE PROACTIVE.  Get the tests before you suspect.  So many people love you so much.  Maybe even a few care more than you could suspect.

15 comments:

  1. This is a sad story all around. However, you hit on the most important part. Be poracttive. Don't wait. Two months ago I had two cancer scares. I was on it with all the test and thank the gods all clean. Except for some skin cancer that was removed. It is nothing to mess with. So sorry about your friend.

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  2. praying for her sweetie, we need all our people!
    Mu sis in law has cancer but it's slow growing they said maybe 20 more years and she is 78 now

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  3. Thanks for sharing this very personal story, Carol, and for the important reminder. Best wishes for everyone in your family. xo

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  4. My goodness, that's a lot going on for your sister in law Marcella. I hope the treatment works for her, I can tell just from this one post that she has been a really special friend to you. Sending prayers and positive thoughts to you all.

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  5. So sorry to hear about Marcella. I hope they can get it into remission and she can enjoy some more of life. Glad her daughter is finally better. Cancer seems to be everywhere anymore. It's awful.

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  6. There's a good lesson to be learned from your post Carol. Proactive is the key, as well as being aware of your body and what's normal and what's not. Denial is not a good thing.

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  7. No one should ever deny the possibility of cancer, especially with a family history of it. Between my mother and my aunt, who both died from lung cancer or its complications (and my aunt never smoked a day in her life), I figure it's a foregone conclusion that I will some day have it. Cancer is evil, and fighting it is the good fight. I hope Marcella gets good treatment results and beats that damn cancer back into remission. Hugs all around...

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  8. Just had another Lumpectomy on Tuesday. I've been very lucky. Good vibes being sent to Marcella :)

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  9. Hi friend. Carol this was a learning post and I will truly remember it. I have a mammo every year and sometimes I don't want to but always end up going. Then I have to wait a week or so to get a letter saying it's okay or to come back in for another test of sort. That's what scares me every year. Sorry about Marcella. It's very scary. Take care of yourself Carol. Good seeing you and thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm also on Instagram. Stop by some time.
    #glorv1, that's my ig name.

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  10. I'm so sorry to hear this, and you are right about being proactive.

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  11. This whole story fills me with sadness. I truly hate that disease. I just read the last post on someone's caring bridge journal. They started with Stage IV, but with aggressive radiation and chemo, he is cancer free. The cure was almost as bad as the cancer - he couldn't swallow at the end of all the treatments, but it slowly has healed and he's cleared to go back to work in two weeks. It was entirely a miserable time, but his good attitude and prayers and faith saw him through it all. I hope Marcella may have those traits and that outcome, as well. Losing a friend is hard.

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  12. It's true, Carol, denial can be the beginning of the end. Here in Germany every woman over 50 is able to get a free screening every two years for as long as she lives. It's easy, fast, and painless.

    Thank you for your wonderful comment in my blog.

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  13. So sorry to hear about Marcella. Her cancer sounds extremely aggressive. I have lost a few family members to this disease and my dad was also diagnosed a few years back. He is now all clear so all we battle are his failing kidneys - he goes for dialysis three times a week.
    I went for my first ever memo this year and have to admit that it was not at all as scary as I had thought it would be. Woman often overlook their own health....it's not through denial always...its just that we worry about everyone else that we forget ourselves. You must take care of yours of Carol xxxx

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  14. Carol, I'm sorry to hear what you have been going through with your family. I have not been online for a week or more. I'll being saying a prayer for Marcella and Terry's father.

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