Thursday, May 5, 2016

21 and Cutting the Apron Strings


Today is Corey's 21st Birthday.  This is a great pic of him with his mom.

Corey has lived with us most of his life, but has also lived with his mom at various times. It may be a weird situation, but it works.  Terry and I have been his parents for the most part.  His mom has been his friend.  The one he can tell things to that he would never talk to us about.  The one he could go to over the years for advice about things that grandparents would never understand.

I recently realized what "cutting the apron strings REALLY means".  It brought forth a lot of feelings I never had with his mom.  It's not a bad thing! There is a certain sense of responsibility that I no long feel.  I have no need to wake up at 4 AM to be sure he is up for work.  He does not want me to pack his lunch and guess what !?!  He can do that very well his self.  From going to the store to buy what he wants...to putting it in a bag each morning.  I still do his laundry if I think of it and want to, but I no longer feel like I SHOULD do it.  He works 12 hours a day so we don't expect him to do anything around the house, but he will if asked or if he notices he can help in some way.  A couple of months ago he was going to move into an apartment.  Maybe he just wanted to see if he would be approved, I'm not sure.  Anyway, he told us he would stay here for a while.  Maybe the prospect of paying off his car may have more appeal. He's 21 and learning the answers...with new questions popping up all the time.

15 comments:

  1. Its so fantastic that you guys have been there with him all these years.

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  2. Happy Birthday to Corey! It sounds like he is quite responsible even for someone so young. A reflection on the upbringing you and your hubby have provided.

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  3. Hi Carol!!

    Thats our job isn't it? :) To get them to the point where they no longer depend on us and can be on their own... I'm so glad that he seems to be at that point in his life and so are you. Its a rite of passage. My daughter packed her car the day after graduation... only because i insisted she graduate and headed off from TX to CA to be with...you guessed it... a boy.... well that relationship didn't last but her determination to be on her own did and she has never been under my roof again except to visit and she is now 29 years old... She's had her ups and downs.. successes and failures but she has endured and at this moment is on top of the world, married , going to school , living in Portland, OR... I miss her... We don't see enough of each other but we talk on the phone several times a day... So glad things are working out for you... I miss your posting more often woman! :) Good to hear from you! Hugs! deb

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  4. Your family cannot deny being related, Carol, pretty Mom and handsome Corey! Nothing matters except what works, thus the smiles. Happy birthday, Corey!

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  5. Wish Corey a happy BD! Sounds like he's growing into a wonderful young man!

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  6. It sounds like Corey is taking all the right steps. And these final steps to independence are bittersweet.....
    My two boys moved out and back in a couple times before it "stuck". But they learned along the way. Now they have their own families and the cycle starts anew!! hugs...

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  7. Mornin Carol, Sounds like you did a great job of raising him to me. If people only realized raising a child is hard in the first years but so much easier later in life. I did not want to still be their caretaker when they reached 40.

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  8. I guess that explains why I thought you and his mom looked alike. =) How fortunate that things worked out for all of you.

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  9. Hi, thank you for reading my blog and now I have added you to my list of blogs I follow. Corey has a good head on his shoulders for a young man. Well done! Raising children isn't always easy.

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  10. Belated birthday wishes to Corey - it sounds like he and you have been equally blessed with each other.

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  11. Being a second Mom is a challenge to many. I hope Corey never forgets your raising him too. My daughter has the same arrangement as you did, hers for the past 10 years and now he is 19. She loves him as much as her own son she had with his father and I hope he remembers that he has two families now, lucky guy.

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