Friday, December 10, 2010

A Quiet Christmas

Are you old enough to remember these stupid Christmas trees?  I think they became the rage in about 1959.  I remember that we got ours when I was  in about the second grade.  My mother and sister both had them in their homes.  My mother never really decorated for Christmas.  We had a tree with a manger below.  That is probably why when I got married, it became my tradition do go all out decorating for Christmas.  Lights inside, outside and anywhere I could put them.  I collect Nativities so they are stuck wherever I can find a spot.  I also have quite a collection of village houses.  Some years they have taken over the house.  I like to put up decorations the day after Christmas and usually take it down the first weekend after Christmas.

Terry's mother never decorated too much for Christmas.  I'm not sure how soon she puts up the tree, but she takes it down on Christmas Day.  Christmas Day for gosh sakes!!  I'm telling you this because EVERY year Terry gripes about the Christmas decor.   We don't need a tree, big pain to put up the lights outside, blah blah blah.  I made a comment early on that maybe I wouldn't put a tree up.  A few weeks later I mentioned where I thought I would put the tree this year.  His reply was "I didn't think you were going to do that this year". 

 And THAT my friends was the straw that broke my spirit.  I don't blame Terry at all.  He didn't say anything any different than he does EVERY year when I just ignore him, ask him to get the decorations out of the attic and he does.  This year I didn't ask and I'm not going to. No tree, no lights outside. He has his issues, I have mine.  All these years of decorating have been done for ME.  Because I enjoyed it. Because I loved to look at it. I thought it was for THEM.  This year is just different.  I have no desire to hear a carol, see the lights or make presents.  Its a state of mind that will pass in about 2 weeks and I'm good with it.  At peace.  The first Christmas season in forever, no stress. I suppose it could be called some kind of depression.  I'm waiting to see what my mood is after the first of the year.

So, for my friends that read this..no worries...I'm good with it. I have been focusing on some projects that interest me. Really focused.  More than I have been all year.  That's why I'm not worried.  Because I am enjoying my time.

For those that may read and relate, good.  You know you are not the only one. You are why I posted this.

To my friends that may wonder where my daily inspirational emails and comments are...well...they are in my head...I am just in a short withdrawl.. I'll Be Back!!

Happy Holiday Wishes To You All

19 comments:

  1. Oh Carol if you are good with it then all is OK! I have had years like this but my kids are still here in the house so I have muttled through those times. Other that the tree and my Santa collections I have toned down this year for several reasons. It's more about the feelings than the decorations anyway.

    Happy and quite Holidays to you!

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  2. How interesting... when I had the needlepoint shop my Christmas spirit died about mid September and didn't return until mid January. This year, it's the expectations of work that are driving me batty... far too many who say they want to participate in group events, but really just want to bitch about how it isn't being done the way THEY would do it (of course, they are NEVER the ones who volunteer to do it... go figure). I'm with ya, although, I think once I get finished with work next week and have the kids coming home I may see things differently. We'll see... sometimes the best gift we can give ourselves is the gift of not stressing. I think I can live with that.

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  3. I understand what you mean completely. The burden of Christmas has fallen squarely on my shoulders for 20+ yeaers of marriage. The first year after all the kids had moved out and we were empty nesting i didn't decorate. Just to see how it felt. I found where i didn't miss all the extra stuff to do i DID miss the decorations and all those years i really was doing it for me and not them all those years. And you know what? I'm fine with that. It makes ME happy to decorate. So now some years i'm feeling it and i decorate , other years i'm not feeling it and i don't. All i require from him is not to be a total grinch. Thats his only job and most years he manages to do that for me. :) Heres to the Keepers of Christmas! You go girl. Make yourself happy!

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  4. Well Carol, why not just set up a small space for "yourself." Your work space, maybe. You say you are fine with not having a tree or decorations this year, but I hear you differently. Make "YOURSELF" happy, you need to allow yourself that. I do wish you Happy Holidays dear and hope things perk up a bit.

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  5. I know exactly what you mean. For years I decorated for the kids, my now 18 year old would not hear of skipping a year. We aren't really having any type of Christmas this year due to finances, but I was going to go ahead and decorate anyway to at least get in the spirit of things if nothing else. Last night I pulled out some of the garland etc and my husband had a huge allergy attack.... anything that could have had a mouse or maybe got some mold spore on it from storage any where near it and can't be washed I can't use now.
    Oh well... now I'm back to not decorating for the season except a few old robed Santa ceramic figures. I'm ok with that. How ever any one celebrates this season... I hope you have a good one :)

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  6. " to thine own self be true"
    for years I decorated for christmas with deliberation and a certain lack of will. the tree went up dec1st and came down the 30th. the rest of the decorations i would leave up until after new years to be festive, even though I didn't feel the "spirit".
    I did it all for the children, who love to decorate the tree and watch the lights in the dark.
    christmas has always been more about them and thier joy of the season.
    it made me feel greedy and low when I would be disappointed at christmas when I wouldn't get anything I hinted for, so expectations of mine, which were always low, never seemed to be fulfilled. that and the rampant commercialism of this season puts me off to hear or see christmas stuff in october before halloween turns my stomach more and more every year.
    what should be a sacred special season has become something tawdry and low.
    sorry to be such a bummer, but I sometimes feel crushed under the expectations of the christmas tidelwave that never seems to be satisfied.

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  7. I think you are doing what you can to keep the spirit of christmas in your heart...the outside stuff of decor, cards and presents are not the important parts of the holiday for me either.

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  8. methinks you protest too much, you need to set up your very own christmas area just for yourself...k.

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  9. I don't think it's depression, I think it's just listening to your inner self and knowing what your needs are for this season.

    I celebrate Chanukah, which ended Wed night. I know a lot of people who stop lighting the menorah when their kids grow up and leave home. But I like the candles and saying the blessings, so we've continued to do that aspect of the holiday even with no kids around. It's whatever works for you and what feels right at the time.

    Hugs to you dear friend,
    Susan

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  10. I was at one time a big Christmas person, loved everything about it, but then something happened in my family and i have not done it since....and realized over the years the part of it that was important to me...perhaps you will find a little corner to have your bit of Christmas just for you....having it for you is a good enough, in fact a very good reason to have some bit of it.
    ktj

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  11. I read your post. I hope you are doing well and being honest with yourself. I too gave up decorating long ago. I enjoy seeing others decorations but then everyone complains about how much work it is, especially to take back down. I'd rather spend that time in my studio. You take care.

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  12. You know what Carol? You're not the first gal I've come across that's feeling this way this year. You have to do whatever you feel in your heart. That's what's best for you and that's perfectly alright! Have fun with your projects Sweetie! xo Paulette

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  13. ...and thank you for your birthday wishes over at our dear Crystal's. Don't forget about that snow...I'll be waiting for it! ;) xo

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  14. OMG my sentiments exactly. I hear alot of people feeling this way this year. I just cannot get into the spirit and did not decorate either. Not a bah-humbug but just not excited about it, too much work for too little time. Glad to hear I am not the only one!
    Marcy Antle
    mantle@piedmontcenter.com
    www.queenmarcyoriginals.typepad.com

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  15. Well I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. I love Christmas and look forward to it and love decorating. This year I've done very little and am enjoying all my neighbor's lights & decorations instead. I decided tonight that I may not even make any Christmas cookies. I think it's part of wanting something different - a new way of looking at Christmas maybe. I don't know but I do relate to what you're saying! Take care.

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  16. I can see no better way to celebrate Christmas than to exercise your own free will and celebrate in whatever way you feel like it. Christmas, after all, is in the heart. I find that you celebrate Christmas all year long when I open up your beautifully encouraging and heartfelt comments. That, to me, is Christmas.

    I read all the comments and I'm so glad I did. I understand how overwhelming, even disappointing, Christmas can be for some. And there is no doubt, that I really miss my mother this time of year. But considering it all...I like the specialness of the season. The fact that the world takes a break from its busy-ness and family comes together to show their love for each other and their fellow man. It's an incredibly creative time of year for me and, for this year, I still love the singing and present making and the tree...

    As for your Christmas tree, I LOVE those old aluminum trees. They were all the rage in Baltimore in the 50s and I'd love to have one today!

    Merry Christmas, dear Carol. Decorations or not...you ARE Christmas.

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  17. While I love that other people decorate for Christmas, we don't do any decorating around here either. The holidays are a stressful time! Do not feel guilty for wanting to de-stress a bit (and don't get stressed about wanting to be less stressed!!). Consider it a Christmas gift to yourself! :)

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  18. i am glad to hear that you are enjoying your time, and as long as you are at peace and not numb, that is ok... i won't let you forget to weigh in on how you are feeling after the new year...
    if your projects are 'share-able'... it would be fun to see...
    my grandfather had one of those tinsel trees...
    be well - thinking of you and sending you extra peace and love...

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  19. I think I am good with it but never really am. Thank goodness I get to be at my daughter's the week before and get to enjoy her decorations! However, my husband is mad at me for the moment and my daughter's husband is mad at her at the moment....ah that good ol' holiday spirit!

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